Hey yo. Someone hacked into my computer and messed it all up. So I've been away for a little bit. But, its back and running well now, so I'm happy : )

Let's see. Yesterday it snowed a lot. I walked home from Kathleen's in the morning carrying my pillow and my bag and my sleeping bag and everything. I looked like a little 4th grade tool : ) So, I went home and slept awhile. Then I woke up and tried to get stuff done, but I failed. So I just sat around until 2 when kathleen called. Her car died so I had to drive her to her hair appointment. She chopped her hair off, but it looks cute.

After that we went to see Lord of the Rings. Ah, it was SO good. Just, SO awesome! I liked it a lot. The whole time my heart was pounding and I felt like I was plastered to the back of my chair. It was so excited!! I liked the elf that just completely kicked ass when the bow and arrow. That was awesome!

Later, after that fanastic movie, Kathleen and I went to Justin and Laura's birthday party. It was fun. But, I thought I was over him. Like, so completely over him. I wasn't especially excited about going to this party. I wasn't thinking about how when I leave he'd give me a hug. I wasn't thinking about how he'd look without his beard, I wasn't thinking about him singing the lyrics to El Scorcho with me. I definitley wasn't thinking about being jealous of his girlfriend. I was thinking about walking inside, giving my gifts to them, talking and eating.

But I did think about how freakin' attractive he his, and I thought about how much fun he is, and how good it felt when he hugged me and how jeaulous I was of his girlfriend.

I shouldn't be jelous. I shouldn't care - but I do! This is pathetic. I tired not to talk to him, just so I wouldn't be attracted to him. I mean, how stupid is that? plus, it didn't work. nope, not at all. I just felt worse about wasting time I had with him. I like him so much, and I'm struggling SO much with getting over that. He's OLD! he's taken, he's almost out of college, I'm almost out of high school. He's staring a life, I'm just leaving mine. BUT I CAN'T GET OVER IT. ugh, piece of crap. I have to go make dinner now.